You hurt with Ben and for Ben, as you watched his hopes fall with your words. He promised to wait for you, but you are far from ready to treasure even that; you told him that you loved him like a brother. He smiled wanly, clenching his hands together until the knuckles turned white.

"I'm moving away in August, Emily," Ben gravely informed you.

"I plan to attend law school in Worcester, and should have liked for you to accompany me as my wife. But in any case, I hope to continue seeing you until I go away, if this is to your liking."

"Ben, I promise you my eternal friendship," you vowed, effecting a slight wince. "And I would give you my heart, but it is not mine to give."

You spent the next hour discussing your poem, and poetry more generally; he even persuaded you to share the other poem you had brought along. Father frowned at the door, where Ben left you at the supper hour, so long had you been away. You told Father you were feeling ill, and would spend the supper hour alone in your bedroom; he gave you a quizzical look, but said nothing. You slept fitfully, waking twice to write in the night.

Turn to page 44.